Updated/still thinking about next steps

[sandi2]

One other thing that could stir his anger against you, is if he sees what he thinks is an air of self-righteousness about you. Not that you are guilty of it, but it seems to be a tool that Satan likes to use to keep conflict between a M coupled where one of them is struggling with sin. When one partner has more or less been pinned as the backslider and the other one is still trying to live a godly life.......it is not uncommon for the backslider to accuse the other one, and use words such as "perfect, sinless, holy, righteous, etc." in a sneering way. That's why it is really difficult to be the one closest to him, b/c he can resent almost everything you say to him.

I agree that ministers are a favorite target. If the minister falls, look how many people it affects. You want him to get right with God, and to work on the M. We can't force people to confess from a humble heart, seek forgiveness and truly repent.

I think I read where you had reached out to a few you thought could intervene with your H. What about someone helping you, not him...but you. Do you have one person who is spiritually matured enough to keep what you say confidential and give you the guidance and encouragement you need through this trial?

As for getting someone else to talk straight to your H...........I don't know. Maybe, in the right timing, but I think it is important for him to stay out of any roles of leadership in the church. He doesn't need to stop attending, b/c he needs to get his spiritual life straightened out. Here's the thing, as much as you feel desperate to do something about his spiritual condition, you are limited....however, there is nothing stronger than a believer's prayer.