I'm so sorry, if I could I'd take the pain away from you. I'm 5 months into this more than you, until a month ago I was like you. What you are feeling is normal, let it go through you. Don't fight it! I think it's more the shock that at the moment there is no future with H.
You don't know what the future holds, but at the moment future isn't on our card, the present is. My IC told me to say 10 things I'm grateful for the day and 3 positives things that happened, at first I thought it was silly and hard, but I have been doing it for a month now and my mood is better.
