The narrative that we are the adult in the relationship has a pro and a con. The pro is that it gives up strength and purpose to stepping up. The con is that it makes it easy to be critical and dismissive of our spouse and to avoid accountability for our own childishness.
Not saying it's wrong, only that we have to take the good and avoid the bad.
He asked about retrouville. What's wrong with simply emailing him and mentioning a few dates that would work for you?
I am not sure he's wrong to not reach out to you. If you two haven't been able to make it work, and everytime you've tried it hasn't gone well, he may feel like 'we need help, let's get help, and let's not mess things up worse until help is available'. Shoot, I'd feel that way, and I think it makes sense. I also would guess he's afraid to open up to you because he's concerned he'll be attached, judged, or dismissed, and that he wants to do so in a 'safe' place where he can be more assured of feeling heard and protected. Given your anger and past together is this really unreasonable of him?
Last edited by Zues126; 01/03/1606:05 PM.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
