It took me two months to be able to detach enough to validate and tell my WW that it will be OK, whatever she does, and I'll be fine. It took 2 months of being on this BB, and reading Divorce Remedy, to finally believe the words I told my wife a couple mornings ago. And I haven't turned back.
There is hope to save the M. Yes, hope! But that hope must be packaged and slid on a shelf for now. Work on YOU. I have an addiction, just like you - read up on my sitch. I'm going to a hidden addiction men's group for 32 weeks starting this month. Excited to go! I need the support. 63 days now - no porn!
Everyone on this board kept saying TAKE ACTION, but I didn't know what they were talking about until my head stopped spinning from the BD. I have lost 25 lbs so far, and see losing another 25lbs. I have set up goals for 2016. I am telling my kids I love them every day, hugs, and playing with them.
Take action - set up goals. Prepare for the worst (divorce, no W), and hope for the best (complete reconciliation, and a better marriage than before!) But you can't have that unless you're taking ACTION on yourself. If you were a woman, what would you want to see? Not just an attractive man, but how you stand, where you go, what you wear, how you smell, what you watch TV, or heck, if you watch TV. I was a bit of a couch potato - now, the TV is off, unless the Packers are playing!
My WW is in a flat spin right now. Pastor has talked with her, and she's angry at everyone. So are my kids when I discipline them, but they later know it was for their good. I'm not disciplining my wife per se, but she knows what she's doing is wrong, and now knows I'm going to be walking away from her hot mess.
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
