I stopped reaching out to her and she started reaching out to me usually to ask how I'm doing but then gets cold pretty quick after that. I always keep it friendly and cool and sometimes a little distant but alway stay positive and tell her to take care when I'm done. Her reaching out is definitely a change so I think me stopping reaching out is working but it feels like we are in a holding pattern right now .
Her contacting you, "to see how you are doing", is not uncommon. It can come from various reasons, but at this point she is probably not considering another R with you. She probably turns immediately cold b/c she does not want you misinterpreting her concern. That is usually how women respond to keep a man at arms distance.
I know it's easy for me to say, and maybe not so easy for you to enforce. Your W wanted to end the M. She got it. The best thing you can do now is to build a life without her involved in it. And if she calls to check on you from time to time, be friendly and speak positive about your life (don't overkill as some guys tend to do). In a couple of years, when her life doesn't turn the way she thought D would bring........she may be calling more frequently. Your biggest challenge will be to let her, and keep yourself from making more out of it than it really is. Give it plenty of time.
I'm certainly not trying to get rid of you in newcomers, but was wondering if you had read any post in the section of our D members? They support each other and I bet they would be happy to talk with you about these first months you're facing. Just a thought.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
