Sorry ghost, I wish there was something anyone on this forum could tell you to make you see but maybe this is the path you need to take to find yourself.
At some point you will need to take responsibility for your own happiness and move past your fear, or hit rock bottom and have no where else to go.
At this point the advice were all giving you, which is the same over and over, is showing our own co-dependence and need to fix someone who is clearly resisting or incapable of it right now.
As with other things, sometimes we just need to let go and let people live the life they choose, meaning you, no matter how destructive it is.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
