I do not disagree with what you are saying, but how do you forgive if you feel a person that engages in this behavior can never be a good person?
Do you consider a person that leaves his family without Affair in the same category? (My husband denies Affair, I know it's hard to believe) my husband supposedly didn't lie, but his actions (refusing to support financially) were pretty selfish.
Thank you for the line " we should work torwards being the best man we can be every day of our lives". your comment is helping to remind me that i should remain honorable despite my feelings of pain. That I will truly win, if I remain honorable. And winning is important to me.
They can redeem themselves and become good people again but can never be a good person as long as they are engage in an extra-marital affair. Good person and affair participant are mutually exclusive concepts.
Your husband also did a dishonorable thing. He broke his vows to you and his sacred duty as a father by not supporting the children. He is clearly currently the villain of his life story. Unless he is a sociopath that behavior will haunt him. People like that end up alone in the end and very bitter. Good people very rarely end up alone. They are usually surrounded by those who love them at the end.
Your and my life stories were hit with huge heartbreak. My wife had an extremely hurtful affair. Your husband walked out. I'm glad you spoke of remembering to do the right things. It's in these adversities where we find our character. It's easy to do the right things when everything is working out in our lives. Where you find your true character is how you respond to the devastating events in your life. Just remember that every single day you're writing your life story. Make it an epic tale that would make a great movie some day. This thing that happened is just one bad thing. Maybe one bad thing in a lifetime of adventures. Focus on you and the children. Don't let him drag you down any longer. You have too much worth to allow that to happen.
