Updated/still thinking about next steps

[trumpet]

PigPen,

Way to step up. Thanks for posting. I follow your sitch very closely!

JellyB is spot on.

Your H is a counselor and pastor, Kyrie. He's probably got a counter for every arguement.

I sell cars for a living. I've been doing it for 10 years.
When I go to buy something, like a mattress, I'm completly aware of everything that is said and done in the road to the sale. If you were slightly off your 'game', I could see through the sales pitch. Good salespeople get my respect, and my money. I've heard every excuse in the book for not buying. I can analyze most people's non-verbals to figure out what they're telling me, since people lie, and the non-verbals don't.

To put it together - I think you're the knife, and he's the gun in a gunfight. He's also got loads of ammo.

JellyB is spot on that you need someone qualified to help you through this. Your H is hurting, and from the sounds of it has an addiction, as well as depression.

Like I said at the beginning, I'm no therapist - that's why I'm here, but my concern ratcheted up a notch when you mentioned your daughter. I have a daugther - age 14. I'm SOOOOO glad my addiction is under control, so that I can rest easy, and be a great dad to her. I might fall off the horse in the future - but I understand now that for MY Wife, and for ME, the porn had to go away.