[BrightFuture]

Thanks everyone for stopping by. I had a great New Year’s Eve at my sister’s. All our kids were there and my son’s GF, and also my BIL (H’s brother.)

I want to go back a little and reply to some of your posts.

Heather, thank you for your concern. The money is my payments for the invoice for the work that I’ve done outside of my regular job. All paid invoices are deposited to our business account, and we pay ourselves according to what we put in. I just agreed to not to pay myself out of the company until H gets his invoices paid. He will need some operating expenses covered before that happens. I’m confident that I will get my money at the end.

Job, I agree with this:

He'll never grow up if you continue to bail him out of his situations. He needs to be a man and call those people up for the monies that he is owed.

I guess I just still care too much. Leaving my money in the account is not doing any harm to me. I have my regular job pay and it covers all my living expenses. I see what you are saying though, and at some point I will need to leave him to take care of himself.

bttrfly, thanks your thoughts. I have been thinking what I want to manifest this year. It is taking a pretty good shape, I think.

FY, you are right, I haven’t done this before, I mean after the BD. Before the BD we were in it together, so the money was used out of the company account for whatever needs at the moment. As a matter of fact, H bought a bucket truck for cash (we could not get a good financing on it, because it was used and bought in a different state), and it was mostly my money from my consulting work at that time. He would not be able to buy that truck without me contributing to the company.

We do go red with company finances to avoid paying corporate taxes. This why at the end of the year we take almost all the money from the account. Last year, H had some invoices that were coming in right after the 1st of the year, so he was ok. This year, is a different story.

I don’t know if this step would hurt or help in a possible reconciliation. I didn’t even think about it. All I know that if the company would show any income, we would have to pay back taxes and penalties, and we would also have to pay quarterly estimated tax this year (2016), regardless if we would make any money or not. These taxed would also reduce my payments, I we would have to share the expenses on this.

Yes, we are still legally married and co-owners of the company, so any implications would affect us both.But, I also think you are into something here… Just read the updated on other thread about how MLCers only remember how they were treated. So, I guess H might remember that I treated him good, fare and didn’t try to make him fail. I don’t know. Time will show.

On another note. My neighbor came to my house and we had a little dinner and some wine. I asked her if she saw H the other day when he came over to the house. She didn’t. I told her that the postal lady (the one who told me last time after H’s visit that he looks happy) was delivering the mail right at the same time when H pulled into the driveway. I’ve heard them talking outside. So, I and my neighbor joked about postal lady making this comment to me again.

My neighbor is the one who went with me to the vacation home a couple of times, and then went there with her family. She knows my story. I told her what transpired that morning a couple of days ago, and about the storage trunk. She told me that it looks like H has not truly moved on yet, since he still keeps his stuff in my house, and it looked like he used an excuse with this trunk to keep his toe in the water. She said that when she D’s her ex, she wanted to take everything out of the house and not leave anything behind, even though it was painful for her. D was her initiative to get out of the abusive marriage. It took her 5 years to start dating again.

She thinks that H’s behavior is bizarre. She also told me that she thinks that he is going through some soul searching and just doesn’t know what he wants to be yet. So, in a way, he is not doing anything in terms of D because he still needs some time to sort himself out and understand what he truly wants. Wow, it’s like she was reading MLC books. The conversation was so comforting to me. She is the one who always tells me that I need to do what I feel is right for me. She never tells me that I need to move on or cut the ties off. She understands that everyone has her/his own process and timeline.

So far, I’ve been feeling pretty optimistic about this new year. I feel like the train is starting to move and I hope it will pick up the speed as year progresses. I think I’ve made peace with the possibility that H will continue to do what he’s being doing and might never come out of this funk. But, I need to keep going.