Parents: help me parenting while separated (2)

[Ripe]

Just checked my email.
When STBXW flew home for Christmas she took with her my agreement proposals for the divorce.
She consulted a lawyer back home (paid with my money) and just sent back her counter-proposals.
I cannot understand why, but I feel like crying.
I now realize that I have a hidden hope that at any time STBXW will stop this madness and reconsider.
Having read her email made me understand that it is not going to happen.