Updated/still thinking about next steps

[trumpet]

I agree with most everything stated, Zues. Nice.

I just think the porn is playing with fire, even casually. An alcoholic will need to stop completely for the rest of their life. One drink can put them over the edge. Some people are built to have those addictive tendancies - some of us find addictions to cope with life, and don't have the tendancies, but still fall victim. I used it to cope - no argument there. We would have pieced together a working M, if my needs were being met, and I'd most likely have cut down the porn a lot, and would have worked on meeting her needs. MWD in DR states in the sexual dysfunction chapter that just women giving their men sex for a month resulted in the man showing the things the woman wanted in the first place - attention and love - men, we're easy creatures most of time.

I want respect, and intimacy with my wife. I haven't gotten them for years, and patched the wound with porn and staying late at work. The porn was there before the marriage, it just didn't dent the relationship until we were months into the marriage - we were getting our needs met early on.

I didn't know how much I needed my emotional and physical needs met by my W until the porn 'patch' was torn off, and the wound opened fully.

Kyrie, sorry to hijack your thread. Let us know what's going on, and how we can help. Zues is awesome to talk with - he will tell you straight! He's much farther along - I'm in the middle of the battle.