A month ago, I would be so worked up to see her. Of I was going to pick up the boys, I would have like the butterflies in the stomach feeling. Now, I look forward to the boys and she is just something I have to deal with... neither good nor bad.

So, here and now... I do still love her. I would love to have a happy and healthy M, and put my family back together. Unfortunately, I do wonder what she's doing sometimes. I do not base my decisions on her anymore. I am trying to do more things that interest me when I don't have the boys. I can deal with a text, and move on. Not worry about it all day.

So I think that I gave reached a more comfortable level of detachment. Is it enough? Probably not. If I saw her with someone else, I would probably be destroyed again. That is for another day though... If it all worked out perfectly, it would be never. But chances aren't great there.

35
3 boys
Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....