Updated/still thinking about next steps

[trumpet]

I agree about accepting some dysfuction - we all make mistakes. Many feel that porn is a continual affair with other men/women, so it might be a deal breaker for some. And using DB'ing to wake someone up - get it. My first attempt was exactly that, and it didn't work - when I got a whiff that the W was kind-of willing to try to R, I jumped off DB'ing, and was back to begging and pleading. Ugh. That wasn't DB'ing. DB'ing is about YOU, not your spouse.

Would my M have been better if my W would have accepted the addiction, worked around it, and still fed my emotional and physical needs? Probably. In Divorce Remedy, MWD talks about a W coping with a porn husband - the W was able to separate the two (the action and her H), and they moved forward. I guess it's much like living with an alcoholic spouse.

I still wouldn't have faced down my demon, though. And my kids would have eventually found out. What kind of dad would I be? Would I be respected? Would they fall in my footsteps since I was telling them it was OK, since dad did it?