Updated/still thinking about next steps

[trumpet]

Zues,

Thanks for the concern. I was expressing concern for Kyrie's H.
My wife told me for years to knock off the porn - it was hurting her. I didn't. My comment above wasn't in regards to their marriage, but his health.

My wife had a one-night PA - didn't wake me up. Finally, discovering the EA in October shook me enough to stop and think what I was doing was wrong.

DB'ing is EXACTLY what you should be doing Kyrie. I don't think you're going to get your husband to stop the porn by telling him to stop. Pulling yourself away so you can work on yourself, and he might notice. It takes time.

My comment about another pastor is that someone he greatly respects might be another way to shake him from his addiction. His addiction has spiraled out of control.

I'm 8 weeks out, and the urges are much less. Some might disagree that porn rewires your brain, but man, I can tell you from personal experience that I feel different, I think different. I still have urges now and then, but I have a choice to take action on them, and I can think before I act. Before the BD, I felt like I didn't have self-control, and it was my only way to make it through a day.

DB'ing has the effect of getting the other spouse to stop and think about their actions, and then the spouse realizes what they're doing and starts to work on the M and R. The big effect is taking control of what lies before you - the path you're on, and only your path.