B's 10-Week Bootcamp

[Bfice3]

Hey All...been taking a little break from posting. RosaLinda the exams I'm taking are for getting my architectural license.

So...for those of you who haven't followed all the posts above, here's a little rundown of the current sitch. Last weekend I went into the house and found a letter written by my wife to OM. She claims it was only an EA that only happened during separation. But, I don't believe or trust her basically at all at this point. She's been out of town with the kids since Christmas day. She changed her facebook status to show no relationship and told me today that she hasn't been wearing her wedding ring this week.

I ended up breaking down last night after my exam. When I got back out and logged on to facebook there was a post of her and her sister out and she looked so good. So, I liked her post (along with 120 other people) and sent her a text telling her she looked really good in her picture (she never responded).

She called me today to tell me they probably weren't going to be getting back home from their trip until a day later than expected and that we would have to rearrange days with the kids. Basically, I lose a day now, and gain a day this week. Which, is fine (kinda, because she would probably have been rude about it to me).

Also, during the call she caught me off guard about my meeting with the priest earlier this week, and I tried to stay dark about information but I think I just ended up sounding rude.

So, then I messed up again. I called her back. And I pretty much pursued her on the phone. I asked her if she was still wayward, and she said yes, she's definitely still wayward. She expressed some amount of anger about me going in to the house, but really her tone in general was just frustration. She seems very upset about basically everything in her life right now. At which, I was kind of okay at validating her feelings. I don't know if she took my validations as serious, but she didn't get negative or anything either. She went on and on about work, and bills, and everyone she ran into giving her so much advice about her situation (she said she got the whole gamut of people saying she should work it out, she should get divorced, what about her kids, etc...). Again, I tried to validate as much as I could.

She was postulating about getting divorced and having to sell the house, and move back to Louisiana, and us having to get a separation agreement, and on and on, taking down the christmas lights, buying our daughter a dress, and on and on.

I expressed that I wanted to work things out between us. She said something about going backwards, and I said, no I don't mean going backwards, I mean going forwards, but doing it in a way where we can eventually find our way back together. She said it was a big turn around since last weekend, and a few other things, and I don't know, we talked for a little while longer.

I asked her if she would still be willing to meet once a week or so for an hour, just her and I, and talk. Maybe read some bible passages, and just discuss things. I don't remember exactly how she answered, it wasn't 'yes' exactly word for word, but it was a positive response (in a sense) with a, "But I'm going to need some time, not on Sunday cause we'll just be getting back, and maybe not next weekend either..." But, it sounded okay, kind of.

And that was about how we left it.

So, I need some pointers on moving forward into the next few weeks. Basically, I'm kind of torn. On the one hand, I feel like the closer we get to a formal feeling separation, the harder things will be for her and hopefully she would have that awakening. Like, last weekend I thought I should completely get all the rest of our bills separated, and move out ALL of my stuff from the house including whatever would basically be half of my stuff that we shared. But, maybe all that would do is drive her further away and have negative consequences.

If I don't go that route...then I need to discuss how to do the LRT and going dark again...because I'm kind of lost still.