Jpeg, I'm so sorry for all the suffering you're going through. I wish I could say or do something to alleviate your pain.
For me it helps knowing that although there are things beyond my control, I do decide how I react to those things, and where I put my focus.
I'm not glad my H has left me but it has given me an opportunity to change the things in my life that made me feel numb. I like myself better. I am becoming the person I wanted to be, but never before had the guts to be etc.
That said, your M lasted almost twice as long as my R, so I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like to have 30 years pulled out from underneath you. Especially not if you were happy with the way things were.
Keep writing on the forum. Most of my PMA comes from the great DB'ers here.
