Feeling Numb

[Elly4]

Thanks Zephyr! I can't tell you how many times I almost backed out from it during the day. I lost count. I almost made the good choice to walk to the party as it was only a mile away. Exercise and fun at the same time.

I still get mad at myself for how I let him undermine my parenting skills. I know I am as good as parent as any, but he makes me question myself. Example, today our S was tired and cranky, not a surprised with a late night. He kept having mini meltdowns and I would help him through them by finding a solution without giving into his demands. The last time I did it, my H muttered about spoiling. When I asked him what he was said or was thinking, he told me nothing, but his fist was tight. So then I asked if he thought I was doing it wrong. He didn't answer. So I started in my head double thinking things.

I mean I was helping a 4 year old get through a tired day that I created with our fun last night. None of the meltdowns were behavioral, just not being able to handle frustration or small changes. Very normal for the age and each time, I helped him to figure out a solution. I think that's more helpful than letting him cry for 40 minutes.

And yet on here, I'm still trying to explain myself. Arrgghh!