WW, My Addiction, Patience is HARD

[trumpet]

Holy crap.

The my W is unhinged. A complete meltdown.
She had to leave the house and drive to Milwaukee to talk to mom and dad. She's in a flat spin.
I continued to detach and validate in our 5 min. discussion before she left, and SUCCEEDED. You just KNOW when you have the detachment thing down. I was very calm, and after reading all the love texts, and the plans for March and April (taking time off, were going to go away for a weekend together), I caught her at the very top of her infatuation with OM. The second time around it was even more intense than from June-Nov. Catching up for lost time, I suppose. OM's divorce is coming to a close, and has his own place now, so I'm sure he's more lonely than before.

I read through all the texts today in the PM - took pictures with my phone of her phone early this morning. Took a while looking at them all, and did it at a coffeeshop, away from the kids. I didn't get mad, didn't cry, I was just... sad. Sad for her. And really sad for the kids. My wife and OM started up again before Christmas. Found the signed retainer for the lawyer. Read it. Ugh.

I thought I'd have a complete breakdown knowing what is ahead of me, but there's a relief that I'm no longer in 'limboland'. Telling her I'm not willing to jointly file was a shock to her. I will stand up for what I believe, and she can deal with it.

I'm excited for what 2016 could be. Life could suck, yes, with a divorce looming, but what about all the potential? Spending time with my kids... taking walks in the spring, when the flowers come up? What about my goal of running 2 5ks? Which ones should I choose? I want to go skydiving. I want to crush it at work, as Zues says. Right now, the resolve I have is squashing any lonliness I had. I feel more in control of myself than I have in years. And I'm ok not being in control of the M right now.