ILYNILWY and it's done? Gift of 1 month

[Butterc]

Getting closer to detaching. The postings and suggestions from Cadet have helped. There's so many of us out here, you vets are amazing with how much you help.

What's working for me today is the letter from a MLC'er. I'm linking it here in case it's helpful for others as it has been for me today.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2292922#Post2292922

[dday]

Thanks butter. I needed to hear that today. It is a great story to hear. (And sounds similar).

Thanks again!

[Butterc]

Can't sleep. WH came over for Xmas yesterday. I was undecided about accepting any gifts from him. But earlier, I had gone shopping for myself and bought the handbag I wanted. I had warned him to expect a high credit card statement.
I opened it in front of him. He seemed happy for me. This is a case of me loving myself more. My milestone birthday was 6 months ago. I needn't have worried. He's continued to buy toys for himself. His year end bonus was more than before and it's just money to him.
He also treated himself to "our" favorite 5* restaurant with "some people", didn't elaborate on who with. ( I had inquired about charges to the credit card.) He pays for everything in the house. He wants us to stay here until D graduates.
Hug goodbye, Merry Christmas.
Upon suggestions from friends, I kept it classy. Even though I'm aching inside, I acted as-if, PMA.
I can hold my head up, smile, and enjoy the Chanel.I'm still committed to M. I didn't make Christmas awkward for D.
I'm happy I won't be sitting here all Christmas break, reliving how last night's events were so similar to years past. Creating new memories with D, as well as keeping traditions for her.

[Butterc]

Feel free to skip this one.
Just lost it. My fears of being destitute and homeless. I texted WAH because he has all control right now. He called back saying he is sorry and doesn't want me to stress. Joint account low balance, he has loads in his new one.
So much for telling myself I deserved the Chanel.
I'm just venting my little pity party here. I acknowledged he has kept his word R/T finances and was able to apologize for my tirade as he had almost arrived at his very difficult job.
From meditative yoga teacher " I love me. I love me"

Instead of a rollercoaster I am on one of those spin rides today. Can you say flight of ideas, lol

Looking for the positive...deep breath.

[Butterc]

Happy new year! Last year I couldn't wait for the end of 2014, the year of the EA. I thought 2015 had to be better and then, Boom, BD! This year I am taking it day by day. No resolutions, but GAL goals. Going to contact attorney next week if WH has not made progress on writing out a financial statement for the mediator he says he wants to use. Right before I went on holiday, I told him I'm letting you go. You have moved on. I am still committed to the family, and perhaps even the old H, but needed to state my detachment for ME. Scared as he!l.

[mutatio]

Hi Buttercup, I am sacred too. This is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. All we can do is take each day one at a time like you said. I'm sorry I do not provide much comfort, it's my 1 year DB anniversary today and I am down in the dumps.

Hang in there Buttercup, better days are coming. Hopefully in our lifetime.

[Gmum]

I also thought 2014 was going to be the worst year of my life, for reasons not pertaining to H, but I never could have imagined what 2015 brought.
I've learned so much about myself, what I'm capable of and the changes I can make, so there will never be another 2015 for me.

[Butterc]

Mutatio, just replying to my post gives me comfort. I'm not the most active on this board and it helps I'm not alone. It helps to know I'm not the only one struggling moment to moment. Another who shares my fear.

[Butterc]

Gmum, I agree. I, too, am surprisingly shocked at my personal growth. Thanks for making me see that.

[mutatio]

I find comfort also in knowing "it's not only me".