So..towards peace and happiness..

[twinmom]

My advice? A group picture text to a few friends. A selfie of you in a beautiful party dress/party ready with the caption "Wishing everyone a fabulous 2016!"

It does a few things
1. Keeps it "distanced" as it's a group text and he won't see it as you sending him a picture but more of the "electronic" version of a New Year's card.

2. It revs his mind to finally "SEE" you (but you don't have to see him & have emotions going crazy) men are usually very visual and a pic of you happy/dressed up might ignite something.

3. It shows him some of your changes without saying "look how I've changed"

[Sotto]

Thanks Job - I'll send a HNY text with zero expectations. Bttrfly, thanks for dropping by! Twin, thanks for the idea - it's a good one. But I'm not sure my NYE plans are going ahead. The friend I was due to go out with has a sick daughter & she's gone to see her as she was worried. She's not sure if she'll make it back in time for us to go out. Oh well. Plan B is to stay over at my parents. Not the vibrant NYE I hoped for, but oh well..

I had a nice day with SS yesterday. We had lunch with my parents and opened some presents, then came over to mine. It was good to see him one on one, and we had some nice chats and some laughs. He's a nice lad and doesn't complain - but he didn't have the best sounding Xmas. His Mum isn't too well, and they haven't been anywhere. His Dad had friends over for Xmas (don't know them..) and SS said he had to stand around all day as all the seats were taken. (He is 15 and may exaggerate..) He also got taken out for lunch with one of his Dad's 'friends' - a women (not OW) and he seemed to like her. No mention of OW at all in fact, so no idea of the status there. I may need to start calling her OW1 perhaps. Anyway, H just seemed to have a pile of activities organised with 'new friends' and SS tagged along.

I've been doing okay, but TBH I was much happier before Xmas when I had more on. But it's been alright and I'll get back on the GAL bus in the new year. It just seemed that all my regular things and friends either stopped or weren't free over Xmas. I've been out most days, but in most nights, which is different and I'm better busy. I'll get there. All silence from H too, but I will send a HNY text as Job suggests.

I need to get in touch with the L in early Jan. Our Decree Nisi is due to be issued on 8th Jan and I think we need a financial settlement before that can happen. I think we're not that far off a settlement, but we haven't got there yet. I need to clarify if that will delay the issuing of the decree nisi.

Anyway, hope you lovely DBers have some nice new year plans....who knows, I might find myself out tomorrow night after all xx

[bttrfly]

Hi Toots,
Just a quickie to say hey and hope your day is going well across the Pond. I sense melancholy in your post- totally understandable and maybe I'm off the mark. It's such a hard time of year. I will offer this: think about what your intentions are for Sotto for 2016. You are setting them whether you know it or not. If you aren't living the vida loca on 12/31, maybe spend a moment with yourself to acknowledge how far you've come, then decide what it is you most want to focus on completely separate from relationship w/H in 2016 ... maybe write it down. Tuck it away. Then just have a toast to the awesomeness that is YOU! {{{hugs}}} xoxoxo

[Vanilla]

Whatever you do, wherever you are, a new year is a terrific chance to celebrate.

Cheers Sotto

2016 is going to be a great year

V

[Sotto]

Hi Bttrfly and Vanilla, thanks so much for posting. Bttrfly, yes it affected me seeing SS and hearing a little about what is going on with H. Our sitch is so low contact, that 'contact' with H's life is still rather unsettling. Coupled with the festive season and having less on - I did have a bit of a downer. Plus my NYE plans have fallen through.

However, I had a good night's sleep and I feel more settled this morning. My boss just texted to say there's a problem with the office and I can work from home, which is nice. Then I'm going to head over and stay with my parents tonight and I'm at the bookstore tomorrow. It's not the NYE I hoped for, but I'll make the best of it, and I'm blessed to be able to stay with my folks.

Hope you lovely DBers all have a good new year, whatever plans you may have xox

[job]

I think it's nice that you are going over and stay w/your parents and help ring in the new year w/them. Yes, you are very blessed to be able to stay w/them.

Happy New Year!

[Sotto]

Thanks Job, and thank you so much for your kind support this past year - hearing from you and other kind DBers has been so helpful.

Well, a big Happy New Year to you all!! I had a pleasant and peaceful time with my parents. The fire was lit and we drank some wine and had a nice chat. I stayed over, then opened up the bookstore this morning and we had a busy day.

I sent H a text this morning, wished him HNY, said I hoped he had a good Xmas & best wishes for 2016. He came back to me soon after, and said HNY too, and all the best for the new year. So, that's fine and I feel better for not just totally ignoring the festive season and the new year.

Other than that, I'm going to relax at home this evening and I have some jobs to catch up on Saturday. Sunday, I'm going out with a couple of my new friends, which should be nice.

Every good wish for 2016 to you all xxx

[rd500]

Happy new year Sotto. Have a great 2016. Kudos on the text Right thing to do in my humble opinion

Take care. Rd. xx

[mleigh4]

Happy New Year Sotto! I like your HNY text exchange with H. Sounds like a nice weekend planned

[Irish M]

Happy New Year Sotto xx

this time a year isn't easy for us LBS. We make it through one occasion then another comes up. You just have to let in the ones around you that want in. Friends, family your SS. enjoy the love that surrounds us. Even the love from this group. We are lucky to not be lost as our spouses are.

By the way the Irish music session once a month is a great idea. I wish we were in the same town, i'd join you. I go to the one in the pub not to far from here and its amazing.