I actually don't know where he lives exactly, lol. He wanted for some reason to show me early on, and I told him no. I'm glad of that, though.
Ah, taking it to his door is not an option then. Maybe you could just drop it through his office letter box?
Originally Posted By: ciluzen
After that incident at the office, suddenly I've been getting messages from a few of the ladies at the office, asking about my New Years plans, etc. One invite to hang out on New Years.
I have only shown my happy, upbeat side when I've been in the office. I don't know what the sudden shift is...he can be rude sometimes when he's busy so I don't think it was flipping the check at me.
Maybe they couldn't believe how he treated you in front of them when they can see that you are always nice and friendly when you call in.
Originally Posted By: ciluzen
I've had an insight into something...a memory and an epiphany.
When we first moved up here and he had to quit working at his first office, he spent ever day enjoying the lake we lived on while I ran around trying to do leg work trying to find him or me a job. He was in no hurry. I got to know many of the people in his profession and finally one of those contacts came through.He is good at what he does and was immediately hired. He worked there for 17 years! But the memory was of him not dealing with the problem we had, just hoping it would solve itself or go away.
Yes, it's funny how this situation makes us remember things that we just did for our H at the time and now when we look back we can see the other side of it that we didn't see at the time. We can see that they basically did nothing to help sort out the problem. I have had a few of these epiphany moments myself since H left. About things from years ago!
Originally Posted By: ciluzen
Right now I think he sees me as a difficult, stressful thing, but a responsibility. That equals...a burden.
I think you've hit the nail on the head here Ciluzen. Our Hs have put us and our Ms on the "too hard to do pile". We have always been the fixers but we're not allowed to fix this situation because a) they don't want us to and b) it isn't DBing
Originally Posted By: ciluzen
Because D1 had house news, he and I spoke this morning about both kids. I did ok with validating and bringing my "new me" way of dealing with kids (even called myself a control freak a few times and talked of how I needed to just let them take charge of their lives and make of it what they will).
But then...ugh. Had to say maybe we should schedule time to talk. Stupid. I'll back away from that. He had said ok and that he would call me back, but I will back off. Still trying to DB. Just too much time alone.
Oops! It is so hard not to ask to talk isn't it. I wonder if he'll call you back to talk - I suspect not. I am constantly fighting the urge to R talk too. It has been about a month since H asked me how I am or said anything to do with the R/M/D. It's like being in a deep cave with no torch.
