I'm sending you big hugs from afar. Its crazy how one minute they can be so loving and the next...cold, hot, irritated, sad...whatever pops up. But we are the same, aren't we? One minute feeling like we can do this detachment thing, then anxious, then calm, then angry, then in tears...
Yes, you're right, we are the same, except we don't decide to up and leave our S just because we feel different one day! I just don't get why he would be kissing me one weekend and the next weekend he hates me enough to leave!? Even since he left we had posed for a couple of family photos and he put his arm round my waist?! Yet he has no feelings for me he says.
Originally Posted By: ciluzen
I've been reading and re-reading DR, but also a source about dealing with our issue solo. It has been mentioned in other people's posts in dealing with the pursuer/ distancer relationship. It is VERY helpful. Find it and study it. I'm not perfect at this, but as I've said, research helps me to feel a little more in control (control freak that I am) of me and my part in this.
I hope it might help you, too. My heart is breaking for you in your isolation. But you have people here who care for you, so you aren't totally alone!
I think I have read the post on here. I am on my 2nd re read of DR. It helps, but at the same time it makes me want to get a highlighter pen and highlight great big passages I want H to read. Like the one about the divorce trap.
