Thanks everyone for the comforting words. I did send W a brief Happy birthday message and she wished me a HNY with a kiss included. As for GAL at the moment I'm a bit stumped. I really don't know what I would like to try. The running is fun but solitary. I'm living in a foreign country where most people have grown up together and are used to the concept of the group from childhood and school onwards. Kinda of hard to break into at times. Most of our friends came from W who was the outgoing one, others have their own families etc. Today when S goes for family lunch I'll just put on the tv, cook a bit and then read my new mindfulness book and see if that helps live in the now. I'm not pursuing in anyway, as I hope my posts have shown, but resisting W trying to cake eat with a happy family in reserve. The last time we spent any significant time together she cried on my shoulder! On the 6th here the kids celebrate with presents. Another mine field to negotiate before some sort of normality. I'm desperate to sort out finance asap with W to have no more reasons for meets for a while.
