She's thinking of leaving again2

[Sotto]

Scrant, I'm sorry you had a rough night. I think the festive season/New Year does bring up all sorts of emotions and it is early in your sitch, and still raw. Plus your W's B'day - all completely understandable. You ask why you are DBing and are you just trying to save you? Well, I think you're hoping you may do both. I would love to wave a wand and have all our WAS's turn back - but we all are where we are - and the only way through truly is through.

What I can tell you is that the pursuit can be the thing that can bring the M. to an end - the 'we know what doesn't work' thing. And that the best chance we all have to save our M's will also mean we save ourselves. But none of this happens overnight and going through it is tough. And to say it's tough, we can all nod - but living it is really tough and we've all had moments like yours where despair sets in. Please have another look at the rules - in particular the one about no matter how bad things seem....not to despair. Sitches return from all sorts of seemingly dire places. Not saying yours is dire BTW...

Now, it's the first day of the new year and it's your W's B'day. I'm hoping you can send her brief B'day wishes if you haven't done so already - and then get on with your day. I'm hoping you can make today all about you and your life going forwards. Do you have something social planned? Company of family or friends? If you haven't - then it's worth bearing in mind that for any dates like this one, having plans for yourself is good and it pays to think ahead. If you don't have social plans, then I'm hoping you'll have a think about GAL. For January, why not come up with a regular GAL activity for yourself. Something you would like to do, that gets you out of the house, that gets you in the company of others, that extends you a little. Please give it some thought and let us know what you have planned.

Also know that if you stay on this path, you will be feeling much, much better by next New Year - whatever your W may be up to. I'm living proof of that my friend. I just had a pleasant new year, with some thought of H - and I will text him HNY later - but not thoughts that ruin my day...

You'll get there Sweetie. Oh, and the big thing to remember - if you feel desperate, post here, or reach out to others. But WRT to your W - do nothing. I've never regretted the times I have done nothing...

Happy New Year my friend and I hope it will be a good one for you - despite the circs with your W. Xx