I'm in the same mood as you, fighting the sadness. Just got tears in my eyes thinking about how my D will probably never have a sibling. It kills me because I am so close to mine. H isn't, so he can't relate.
However, like you I will try to think of 2015 as the year the blinders came off, the year I realized I was alive and could feel things other than boredom and anger. And the year I made a lot of virtual friends.
Happy New Year everyone. Farewell 2015, good riddance. Bring on 2016 (4 hours to go here in CO)
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I can so empathize with your post. If 2015 didn't happen the way it did and it was absolutely horrible and excruciatingly painful, then we wouldn't have changed for the better. We would still stumble along with our blinders on. As I have read before, sometimes life needs to be totally shaken up for it to get better!! Here is to a better 2016!!!
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
Happy New Year everyone. I carried out the plan. Got all dolled out and went out with a friend for a drink. Then we picked up peppermint patties, Twizzlers and Sun Chips, and back to her place for a silly movie. In sweats top and bottom, and trying not to worry about a thing. All the best to you all. Texted the W to say HNY, then turned phone off for a while. Lubricated by a glass of chardonnay (I'm a lightweight) and now a beer and peppermint patty. A moment of blessed relief from all the pain and heartache of the last two months.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I am currently sitting in my office (it is 10pm on New Year's Eve), after I just finished catching up on some (irritating) work e-mails (I work from home at all hours). H is in bed, reading. My son went to spend the night with a friend who is also visiting family for the holidays. Whoop-de-do.
I agree that 2015 has been an interesting year, with many insights and realizations. Still feel I have a lot of work to do, and not sure if this M is going to survive.
Book recommendation: Elizabeth Gilbert's 'Committed - A Love Story'. It's the book after 'Love, Eat, Pray' (which I have not read). She writes about the history of marriage and how it is perceived in various cultures, mixed with her own story of being more or less forced into marriage against her and her boyfriend's wishes.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
Thanks for the book recommendation! I'm always looking for something good to read. I used to read a lot of fiction. That's been a huge change in my life this year. Instead of fiction, I'm reading and learning about growth as an individual - also books about coming to grips with the past - battling codependency.
Who knew it really helps to have instruction manuals with life? LOL It really has helped, though. The things I've learned, the things my eyes have been opened to: all hugely helpful, and helping to put me in a much better place emotionally, physically, and mentally. I guess that's why there's such a huge market for the books.
Interestingly enough, one of my daughters suggested that when I've moved on from where I am, I should write a book about the night I went nutso. For some reason, she thinks people would not only be entertained, but could learn something from it. I don't know...it's pretty upsetting. I do love to write, though - and it certainly nothing I've ever thought about doing. Might be an interesting exercise.
One hour and 5 minutes to go until midnight here. Some of you are already past it! Happy New Year!!!
I'm making a cheesecake tonight. Going to have a houseful tomorrow with the youngest boys and their friends. They get to benefit from my boredom. So far I've made my favorite pasta salad, deviled eggs (2 kinds!), cheesecake, and once that it done, I may try my hand at Fo's lemon cookies just to round it out.
Keeping busy is definitely helping me get through the night. No time to dwell! The neighborhood kids are having a ball setting off fireworks, and I keep cracking up watching my poor dog have a nervous breakdown. He's a cuddly little Bichon Frise, never groomed correctly, so he's like a super-curly Maltese - friendliest, happiest dog ever born...and he hates anything that goes "BOOM"! I guess it's mean to laugh, but he's so ridiculous covering his eyes with his paws...LMAO I'm not kidding!
Who knew it really helps to have instruction manuals with life? LOL It really has helped, though. The things I've learned, the things my eyes have been opened to: all hugely helpful, and helping to put me in a much better place emotionally, physically, and mentally. I guess that's why there's such a huge market for the books.
Slightly off topic but not really.... Jack Canfield's book (keys to success or something like that) he asks "why do people make a to do list for their day at work but not their life?" I find this so true, why does no one make a list of all the things (goals, tasks, objectives, etc) they want to do in their life. He then goes on to describe how he believes our brains work as task solving machines. He has written 140 or so goals and accomplished almost all of them in 10 years. I did it in April I think and wrote 45 and I've accomplished 7.
Anyway story over. Happy New Years!
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Goal setting has been the biggest change in my life, post DB, thanks to Avanti. I am so happy that I've learned to do this. It is literally changing the way I do things, and I'm making so much progress. You just reminded me that I could use some time tonight and write out goals for the year! No resolutions...GOALS.
