The Next Day...

[mahhhty]

This was the first Christmas in 18 years that our families were not together, to allow the WW to manipulate everyone else's life is not going to work for me anymore! Let her ruin her new BF Christmas.

That sounds tough 2lt. I didn't make it to double digit marriage, and mine is still tough. Put your best foot forward, learn and adapt.

Mahhty, I'm so glad life and work is keeping you busy, but you're missed around here.

Happy New Years!

Happy New Years Gmum! I've been busy. In a way it is sad, that I only come here when I'm dealing with a rut. I'm sorry for that. If I told you what has been happening with my biz you wouldn't believe me. Things are moving in the right direction.

Mahhhty. I came to see how you were doing. I can tell that you're still struggling much. I've only read this page though, so I may be off. I hope you're searching for the source of your pain. Some people react rather "well" to a D and it (and IC) made me realize that it was first and foremost a trigger for something in me. In my case, as you may remember, it was a serious lack of confidence that I could find someone worthy to share my life (not just that of course). Once I started flirting and dating, I gained a little more confidence and realized that there was another life out there for me, different but perhaps just as good or better. If you're ready to start dating, I'll recommend to you the same book that I recommend to others because it helped me: "Models - Attract Women Through Honesty" by Mark Manson. It helped me to approach women and to deal better with my D.

By the way, I moved to "Surviving the big D".

Thanks Mozza! I'll check out the book. I've seen you post about it before. Quick Story... I was working at my shop this AM and had to run some errands. I ran into a bunch of people I am associated with through a NPO. One of which (isn't D'ed yet but is on his way). He was slouched on a couch with a girl next to him (flirtatiously) and they were all explaining how they had a fun night and rough morning. I remember thinking... he isn't in D'ed yet! My problem is I am a puppy dog, I am too loyal to the idea of marriage, the idea of for better or for worst. This is the worst right so I should stay and fight. While that sounds noble on paper, it does nothing for me in the long haul. Learning, adapting, growing have to be my salvation. I need to create a new life for myself and use all this as motivation. She is not the person I remember. That person is gone. With all that said. I really only come here when I'm down. So I think that is why it appears as if I am struggling, but the time in between posts I am really quite happy with the world around me.

Update....
For the last while.... I've been really good. No snooping, no checking, no texting. Nothing on my end. I don't respond. I live my life. Perhaps b/c of the holiday and trepidation for tomorrow (a big day for my startup, I am being interviewed by the local paper!!!!!!!!!) or because she hasn't called her kids in three days (and they had hand, foot and mouth... BTW Seriously what kind of mother does she think she is). I checked out OM's instagram. I hadn't done that in over 2 months. I shouldn't have but I did. Needless to say, it didn't help. Only helped affirm what I already know.

Meanwhile, the night before last I signed up for online dating. Negotiating that seems a little cumbersome or awkward. But its time. I sure could use some flirting of some nature, make sure all the pieces still work....

On that night Happy New Year DB'ers.

Every relationship needs a hero, be yours!