WW is onboard with trying to save the M

[JGuy]

More thoughts along this line... I am really liking this idea of "saying goodbye once and for all to the old M" but without actually going for divorce. This is in fact perfectly aligned with what my W wants right now, which is a trial separation. For starters, we would try this while living in the same house. However, I am thinking through the logistics of what this would actually look like, and I can foresee it being very tricky to do this while still living together in the same house because of my W's OCD.

My W's OCD and our dynamic around it was such a big element of our old R, and it is one of the elements that MUST change for me. I have a lot of pent up resentment about tolerating it for all these years and I know that I just can't live that way anymore if I am going to be happy. It is going to seriously interfere with my need to GAL because the life I want is one where I am free to invite friends over more frequently, sometimes spontaneously. Sometimes friends that she doesn't like. I have been compromising for all these years and it has really been weighing on me and is a big source of unhappiness in the M for me.

I really don't like going to the opposite extreme and forcing what I want on her either... I do want to compromise where I can. However, I have been compromising for these 8 years way too much to the extent that I'm really unhappy. I can see this being quite difficult for us in the near term, so perhaps we should seek help with this soon from MC. Yes, I know we aren't supposed to do MC at this stage, but this wouldn't be to try to rebuild the M. It would be to try and negotiate some terms for how we can live in the same house while undergoing a trial separation.