I want my family intact. I want who I know she can be, who I've seen glimpses of her being and who she has told me she wants to be. I do not want who she is today. I want a healthy M, a healthy W, a healthy gs9 and a healthy family.
It's going to take work
She has taken some positive steps. Part of this process is that you acknowledge that to her. If you show her there is no path back to you and your family staying together then she'll give up and you really will be finished for good. If you do want to stay with her then she has to know there is a path that leads to that. Show her that path and tell her what the rules are. Be fair and live by those rules yourself too.
One more thing. Don't ever stand your daughter up again. That's a chicken sh!t move. Do the right thing.
