Ghost taking baby steps

[Vanilla]

You agree on things re your children not because you are H and W but because you are PARENTS.

That doesn't change if you D, you co-parent.

If W says no to something then you discuss it. If you think yes and she thinks no, you agree on a parenting strategy and normally you agree in advance.

As in "W you said no, but I think yes (or visa versa). In future can we each say to the children "I need to agree this with Dad (or Mum) and then I will let you know", please let's do this in future"

You are still parents as "Dad can I have a tattoo of Elvis Presley on my nose"

Dad says " I think no, but I need to agree this with mum, then I will come back to you"

Then dad says to mum "our S wants a tattoo of Elvis Presley on his nose, I provisionally said no but what do you think?"

Mum sys "I agree that no tattoo is appropriate"

Then "W I will tell S that mum and dad agree no Elvis tattoo on your nose"

If mum says instead " I think that would be a nice tattoo", then you discuss it with W

Then you go back and say " S mum and I agree you can have the tattoo when you are 21 if you still want it" or whatever you agree

Then dad goes back to W and says " I told S, no tattoo until he is 21 and mum and dad agree on that"

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For instance S wants an iPad, you said no W and I respect that but I think it's ok. Can we discuss that, please explain your thinking on the iPad.

I would like to buy S an iPad for his birthday? In 12 months for next Xmas. Can we agree on our co parenting on this issue.

No doubt others will have their views too, this is my thinking.

V