Here again after 9 years and struggling

[ciluzen]

IP,

I'm sending you big hugs from afar. Its crazy how one minute they can be so loving and the next...cold, hot, irritated, sad...whatever pops up. But we are the same, aren't we? One minute feeling like we can do this detachment thing, then anxious, then calm, then angry, then in tears...

I've been reading and re-reading DR, but also a source about dealing with our issue solo. It has been mentioned in other people's posts in dealing with the pursuer/ distancer relationship. It is VERY helpful. Find it and study it. I'm not perfect at this, but as I've said, research helps me to feel a little more in control (control freak that I am) of me and my part in this.

I hope it might help you, too. My heart is breaking for you in your isolation. But you have people here who care for you, so you aren't totally alone!