Taking Joy!

[LoisB]

Ginger, that may be one of the most disturbing posts I've ever read on here... Felt like I was getting a message from God or... My mother.

My vent was a vent. I shared a vent with folks I thought would understand, as opposed to holding it in and having my kids take the brunt of my heavy feelings. I still struggle with how a vent on these boards seems to open the door to a storm of "critiques" and inventory taking.

I may be holding onto him by a thread. I don't know. I will always hope he finds his way home. But, if I am, I've put enough distance between us to prevent him from threatening our new lives.

As I get healthier, I find myself attracted... Not to individuals who cast judgment and analysis, but to people who simply accept me for being wherever I am and trust... Without any vague forebodings... That I will figure this day out, just like I've figured out the past four years.

I have a solid foundation of codependency behind me. Lots of abandonment and a mom who is back with a man who cheated multiple times and abused her emotionally and abused us in virtually every way. I will always have to be on guard when it comes to using men as a drug and distraction. It's taken me a long time to reach this point where I'm able let him go as much as I have. Progress not Perfection.

To the newcomers.... This is a journey. Most of us landed here honestly with plenty of baggage from our past. This is an individual journey and there is no sweeping blanket formula out. It's one day atta time and requires a large amount of honesty and self-reflection and courage. Your Journey is YOURS. Comparisons will get you nowhere.

Listen to how others walked through the fire and take what fits for you. But, don't let someone else's analysis stop you from doing what works for you. Pray hard. Listen to the direction God gives you.

These boards have needed, in my opinion, some structure I regards to feedback and crosstalk. People here are struggling through some enormous shame and hurt... There's the potential to do a lot of damage when a person is really vulnerable. Just my two cents.