I spoke to my IL yesterday and they said he wouldn't even talk to his father on Christmas because he was so angry that FIl had driven us to the airport and no one had told him. Yet he tells no one about his life. He is completely unaccountable.
He's a textbook cake-eater. He wants to have his chippie to live one life but have you at his beck and call back home when he's in the mood for some family time. Whenever you do anything to hinder his double life he acts like a child and throws a tantrum. I've said this before. Your H has the emotional maturity of a 6 year old. You're the adult in this situation.
Don't enable his cake-eating. His behavior will not change that way. He's behaving like a child. Treat him like a child. When he's having a tantrum you stay cool, calm, and collected. Don't, however, allow his bad behavior to go unchecked. That's what he wants. We're all accountable for our actions and that's the last thing in the world that cheaters want. They fear accountability because they know they look like really bad and they know that what they're doing is very wrong. My W tells me that even when she was screaming at me at how this situation was my fault and that she was justified that inside she knew she was lying and she knew she was wrong but her pride would not allow her to admit that openly.
