B's 10-Week Bootcamp

[Bfice3]

Well...it's been since Sunday morning since I've had any contact with my W at all. 3 1/2 days. Of course no communication from her. Oh paranoia how I love thee. I am feeling compelled to want to send her a happy New year's message tonight, but maybe I'll just come here at midnight instead. I have a professional licensing exam in about 8 hours, so that's something. I'm kind of excited about it in a weird way. I'm really curious how it will be when the W comes to bring me the kids on the 2nd. Is she going to be really angry? Or is she just going to be her normal fake friendly and detached self? Will she still be wearing her wedding band? Does any of that even matter? I can't control any of it. One freakin' day at a time. Stay in the moment...this moment...right now. Get out of your head. I'm a decent guy. I'll be okay. Please, let me be okay.

Oh...and I think I realised I need to get a bigger place not just so there's more space for me to not get irritated with my kids...but, so that they can have their own place, own rooms, own space here with me when I have them. I need to make sure they have a good secure feeling about me being stable and safe and always
remaining their father, no matter what. So, that's something.