More and more, and less and less...

[NDY]

Hi Zues. Great insight once again my friend.

I'd like to add a little of my own experience to your great post above. I know my M is dead, and there won't be a new one with my ExW because I've decided that I simply don't know the person that caused all that hurt and pain and to be frank I wouldn't want to be with someone that could do something like that.

I personally tend not to put timelines on things. This works for some but not for me. For me it's about how we feel inside. Do I still think about my sitch? Well yes of course I do or I wouldn't be posting here. But I always try to have some back up thoughts to interrupt that thought process. It just helps me to not think about it anymore than is necessary.

With dating, the good people on here always say don't get involved with someone too early as this can cause a whole heap of problems you really don't need. There is also the case where the other person either is attracted to the wounded persona which is itself not a foundation for a healthy relationship or the other person senses your hurt and not ready so they back off. I have to admit this is what happened to me. I did get involved with someone and like all people they are curious about your past relationships. I was clear to her that I still harbored a lot of resentment and anger towards my Ex so she backed off. Quite right too and this is where I think that when you want to get involved with someone else you need to be in a place where you aren't still emotionally involved with your Ex. It may be two years as per your guideline or it may be 6 months. But only you will know when you are ready and that's when you have fully go over your sitch.

Peace friend