Kyrie, Lol, It is really just Zues pet name for me wink

I agree with Zues on this one, a Db coach would be the best idea.

Regarding your H. Helping professionals in my experience (and I include myself in this) are prone to a superiority complex regarding communication.

We see ourselves as expert, we believe that we already know what the problem is in the relationship - pointing finger at our spouses.

We just need to support you with a conversation that will allow you to see that. We will gift wrap our stuff - in touchy feeling psychobabble, often using condensending kumbaya singing tone, making it sound so reasonable and considered.

Then we get frustrated and angry when you don't see the problem as we do. Ie that you won't recognise all the problems you have that are contributing to the relationship.

We end up exploding becoming abusive and then saying "look how you made me behave, I am reasonable intelligent person who has our relationship at the forefront of my mind when I talk to you, and look you have made me lose control"

Sound familiar Kyrie? It's BS controlling rubbish.

I had a lot of growing up to do and alot of sorting out of my depression related to that ^^^^^^. You cannot help him, he has to want to help himself.

Revisit the couple counselling and even more so the DB coaching for you. Your sitch is complex kyrie.

In the meantime we all support you here to have safe place to fall and talk and laugh at amazing humanity.

Much love

Jellyb XXX