Oh, the things I have learned in spending time reflecting!
I would say the ONE THING, the most important I've learned was that I have to happy in my own skin, first. And that's not something I've been for a very long time.
I miss H. I will probably always miss H - but this time? It's been so very necessary. I lost "me" a long time ago, and finding myself again has been hard! I'd say I'm about 50% of the way to where I want to be. I wouldn't have this time to reflect, ponder, and grow if it hadn't been for the awful disruption to my life. H actually takes up a lot of my time. Now that I have freedom to just, be...I'm really changing, in a lot of good ways! I know what I did wrong in the M - but the most critical and harmful of all those things was the loss of myself.
I can never let that happen again. I have to be happy in my own skin. I plan to be. Everything else until then, is just a distraction. I'm not happy about the breakdown of my family, at all. But I can get past it, and thrive. That is my plan. My wonderful DB family will be here to see I get it done, right? LOL
You are correct, D. This is all about her. The problem is with her - and the answer will have to come from her. In the meantime, you deserve wonderful things. Every experience you have will just make you grow and learn. Treasure your time with those boys - it just all goes by so quickly!
There are so many great things about you, D. I'm so happy to learn that you're starting to see them. Your quest has led you to a very good place. You're a great example for those precious boys...and in the end? That matters.
