Wow, Msd! I am impressed with your strength in this latest communication with H. I know, from my own experience, just how hard it is to stop letting him push buttons he's pushed for years. I am resolved to stop it, though - and I've had some pretty scary moments with him in response to my changes.
Each one makes me stronger, though. Everytime he throws a tantrum, whether it be the loud, noisy type or quiet, deadly one, I spot it now. The degree to which I am affected changes, but not the fact that I recognize it for what it is. The fact that you're beginning to understand when he's attempting to manipulate you is fabulous!
His game play regarding the one-on-one vs being too afraid to meet with you has me rolling in mirth - it so clearly resembles something similar my soon to be exH does. One minute he's shouting at me, calling me vulgar names, and making unreasonable demands - and the next he tells me I've threatened to kill him, and he feels unsafe around me. Which is it? He can't be too afraid if he's constantly barging in on me - well, he was until my L put a stop to it. I'm so happy I finally started standing up for myself.
We go to mediation this month to try and work out an agreement. At this point, I just want it all over. I'm ready to be out from under his thumb, and away from his contempt. Of course, now that I'm moving on, mentally, he's starting to be nice again - but I'm not falling for it this time. Manipulation at play!
Good for you, Msd! I am so happy you're starting to recognize it when it happens. That makes all the difference in the world when dealing with him.
