Jpeg - I'm happy for your sake that the kids had a really good time. I know that was your main purpose in going. Did you manage to have a fairly good time before H contacted you? I hope so. Sounds like the mealtimes were great for all of you. I thought about you often.
I know H has disturbed you with that e-mail, but please, take it from me, I recognize the signs of a middle-aged tantrum. H is used to running the show. He's used to you doing what he wants you to do. He's with OW, and you're weepy and sad - missing him. He KNOWS this - and it pleases him. It adds to the ego trip he is on. Imagine how his ego was hurt when he got home and discovered that you weren't just keeping everything the same, patiently waiting for his return. Of course he had a temper tantrum!
Remember, above all else, when you're dealing with an adult going through MLC, you are dealing with an extremely juvenile version of that person. EVERYTHING is all about them. How dare you change the locks to HIS house?!? Never mind that he doesn't live there anymore. How dare you and the kids be away having fun without him? They're supposed to be sitting at home, missing him as much as you are. He will not allow himself to believe THEY don't want to see him. For him, it's got to be something you did - he's so wonderful, his kids would be delighted to have him in their lives if it weren't for his wicked witch of a wife. All he has to do is ask OW - she'll be glad to agree with him.
You should contact the police about the broken door. I know you won't, but you should. H does not reside in that house. He did not have permission to be in it while you were away. He broke in - that's breaking and entering, Jpeg. He could have burned the house down while he was busy having a tantrum. The kids are right to be angry - you should be, too.
I know exactly why you aren't. It breaks my heart for you. H will continue to take advantage and do whatever he pleases until it is proved to him he cannot. You can't make anything worse than it is, if you think about it. He's living with OW! He's abandoned his wife and children! He's living life like he's a 17 year old. What's he going to do? Hate you? Like all 17 year olds, he will eventually get over it. You need to show him that you are not his property. He doesn't get to run over you any more. You'll at least earn his grudging respect. You don't even have that at the moment.
I want you to sit down and write out every wonderful thing you remember about the trip. No negatives! If you're not careful, the actions of H will overshadow what was truly a gift for you and your kids - an adventure. Write it all down, so that you can go back and remember whenever you need to. H doesn't deserve one more second of time stolen from your trip.
I'm here for you, Jpeg. I truly get where you're coming from. Stay strong, okay?
