Oh Inpain. I don't know what to say. There is so much you can take. I have to say that it made me smile when you H said it was too late as you asked him to leave. See how he is putting the blame on you. Let me guess he didn't try to make you change your mind. Like my H, I truly believe that they are cowards and that we made the decision for them.
Yes, your guess is spot on Rouky. No, he didn't try to make me change my mind. More like I was running after him saying, "I didn't mean it, I was just angry and upset, please don't go!" Why am I so weak and stupid?
Originally Posted By: Rouky
TBH I remember regretting kicking him out, but not anymore. I don't like who he has become. I can feel little by little the door closing and I'm no longer dreading the D word.
It's sad that it has to come to this end, but I don't want to suffer anymore. I don't want to be unhappy anymore. I'm only 40 and still have a life ahead of me.
I hope I can get to where you are and I wish I had your optimism. I'm 43 but I don't use the term 'only' with it. I don't feel 'only 43' and think I have a life ahead of me, I feel like I have no chance of a happy life now, too old to start all over again. Especially however many years down the line it's likely to be before I'm truly happy again after this.
Originally Posted By: Rouky
Hang in there Inpain, I'll walk the road with you and if you stumble I'll pick you up. Have faith
Thank you so much Rouky. It means so much to have you all here helping me to get through and I hope I am of some help likewise, even though I don't feel that I am right now and I'm sorry for that. Thank you for being here.
Why am I so weak and stupid?