RD thank you it is about hope and me not wanting to give up this hope

I worry about letting go of that hope and her realising this and then she moves us to the next stage or I could let go of this hope and I could move us to the next stage...I am not looking to divorce so the next stage for me is to GAL and do more things for myself I realise in doing ts she will see me going out and she will also go out more and so we will spiral apart from each other. I need to let go

It is my fear for not having her in my life that is holding me back and despite everything I know and understand my M is over and nothing will ever be the same again a small part of me thinks ...just how over is it .......we have moved to friend status and this is not what I want but I realise I cannot push for anything

I have had several stfu moments today where I have felt things have been going well and I wanted to say look can you not see how we are getting along surley it must be worth trying to work on this for the kids then I stfu as I know I have to.

RD I feel the point that I need to get to is selling the house and separating completely from her but then I feel everything really changes and I just do not feel ready ...will I ever be ready

Just have to go out pick u daughter Sandi I will reply later to your post
thank you

Ghost

Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.