Updated/still thinking about next steps

[kyrie]

Thanks for your open-ness and vulnerability Zues. He is also addicted to porn (which is what destroyed my first marriage) - he doesn't know that I know about it.
What you describe is spot on. He does think that way - what finally opened your eyes to things?
Your support means a lot - I want all the answers but I know it doesn't work that way. Knowing how things worked for you does help though. I want to understand it all but also know full well that probably doesn't ever happen - nor does it need to.