Updated/still thinking about next steps

[kyrie]

Hi Fo.2
Let's see. He's a pastor & counselor (ha!). He had an EA (possible PA). We moved out of state (me first in Jan this year, him when then house sold in late March). During that time apart he developed that relationship and it continued via phone/Facebook after the move. I found out about it and it eventually disintegrated. He's also MLC - wanted to quit the ministry and be a full time drummer (always been his passion).
That seems to have passed and now he is just full of resentment and bitterness, all directed at me.
He's always complained that I was never submissive, always arguementative, and fought him for headship. Those are valid - and I confessed & repented of all of that over the summer. I'm still working on that part of me.
We've tried counseling off and on. I'm not formally in counselling but have reached out to other trusted pastors, etc.
Yes, 2 children (my 14YODaughter is from my first marriage).
I've read most of it and yes, tried detatching, GAL, PMA...

Part of the problem is he's a counselor himself and sees all of this as manipulation and a game. He sees right through a lot of things.