Detachment. Ugh, hard one for me, and seeing her everyday certainly doesn't help. I have read everything, multiple times. While I don't agree with everything I read, I typically gain something from just about everything and roll it into my own opinion/application. I see an counselor, who whether he is just blowing smoke or not, applauds me on my efforts, first to save my marriage and then on how I've grown through this process. The knowledge I've gained about my perspective on life and who I want to be has been awesome. I am truly thankful for that.

Also, I have spoken with a lawyer. There is not much she wants other than her share of equity in the house. She does not want a divorce, but rather a dissolution, which is a lot less expensive and moves along much quicker. I have though about just not agreeing to it and making her file for divorce. I just don't want this to be any messier for the kids than it already is, so again following my own thoughts, with the advice of just about everyone else I've talked to, just give it to her. Make it quick and as painless as possible. I tend to agree with this. The problem is and where I am at right now is that I almost wish I could just go completely dark. No contact. I can't because of the kids, so I see her and am just like "#$%#". I think it might be my last hurdle, but also my hardest. It is at least to date.