I agree that housework is gender neutral, but the overall division of duties has to be fair and equitable. W and I agreed right in the beginning that when the kids arrived, she would be a stay-at-home mom, and I would support the family. Since that time she has never worked for money, except nominally from time to time. I don't resent that. However, supporting a family of five in anything resembling a middle-class lifestyle these days is next to impossible, and a HUGE responsibility. We've made a LOT of sacrifices to make it possible. In addition to "bringing home the bacon", my responsibilities include general maintenance, which has often included plumbing, electrical, small (and large) appliance repair, interior construction, etc. etc. So... I don't cook (nobody would want to eat anything I prepare, except on the Bar-B), I don't do laundry or iron, I don't vacuum or tidy up generally, although I don't leave stuff laying all over, either. We also have 3 healthy kids who can pick up the slack, if they were ever expected to. Yes, we're old-fashioned, but that is the "contract" we agreed to. Several times I have broached the subject of whether she would be willing to get a job of some kind to help with the finances, (at which point the whole contract gets renegotiated, with me taking a much more active role at home) but she has said "not interested".
