Hairdog and Newlywed, as always, thanks for your replies.
I think that it was a mutual thing for both of us as far as who started the downward spiral. When we were first dating, H used to bring me a rose every time he came to my house (of course, I lived two blocks from a grocery store with a floral department), for example. Once he moved in, the roses stopped. Spontaneous gifts have never been his strong suit and gifts on normal gift giving occasions have also started to dry up. Acts of service have always been few and far between b/c H is not the handiest guy in the world and it pains him to have to call his BIL or father every time something needs to be done around here. I accept that and am always very appreciatve whenever anything gets fixed, no matter who does the fixing.
I really can't pinpoint when the SSM situation started. I had a bout where I was on Paxil and didn't feel like ML for the life of me. If I was pressed to put a timeframe on the SSM situation, I'd say it sort of began there and like you both said, it just got comfortable after a while. H got more and more upset/confrontational/argumentative/whiny and I kept digging my heels in further. But I have realized like you also said that change can come from one person, so right now, I am the one making the change.
I did catch H making a mental list of things that he wanted to fix around here after supper tonight...so things may be looking up in the Acts of Service department.
