So I answered my H's Christmas eve text asking me how I was etc., a few days later, on the 28 December. I told him I was doing 'really great, thanks' and that was it. Nothing further from him, but I guess it's early days yet.

I'm at the point where I'm not sure what I want any more.

I'm definitely not attracted to the person that my H has become over the past 5 years. I definitely don't want my old R and M back. And I'm not missing him or our R/M either.

I feel like I've travelled way too far along the road away from all of that to ever even want to go back now. That all seems kinda lost in the mists.

I know I'm definitely not interested in being his friend while he pursues another R with another woman

So what now?


Me: 48, XH: 42
T: 18 years, M: 15 years

EA/PA 1: 6/2012
EA/PA 2: from autumn 2012-present

BD: 5/2013
ILYBNILWY BD & left: 10/2015

OW conceived: 8/2016
Born: 4/2017

H filed: 7/2017
D final: 28/12/2017