I don't see how there can be an end to this loneliness.
Neither did I. But there is. It's not quick. It's not easy. But there is an end to it, and the path to get there is worth taking.
I know the pain seems unbearable at times. I've been there. Occasionally still get flashbacks
Detachment helps. GAL helps.
Quote:
How do you get a life when you have no spare money and 2 children to look after?
Years ago, at BD 1, we had just moved to a new town, had no spare money. 2 children to look after as well. My W was going through OM withdrawal and was not much use most of the time.
I exercised. Jogged to be specific. Cost nothing except maybe wore out my sneakers faster. Great, great stress reliever. Got me in better shape...which made me feel better, gave me more confidence...etc.
The kids got involved in church stuff and scouts...and eventually sports (soccer, basketball, baseball, etc.). So a lot of that I counted as GAL for me because I got involved in that stuff...helped organize things, did the pinewood derby, went to den meetings and helped out, etc. That involved socializing with other parents in the process so was something to keep me busy.
Used the library. Read books on things that interested me. Learned new things, etc. Used the thrift store to find stuff for kids cheap, went fishing at the local public fishing lake (not free, but pretty cheap).
I volunteered at church for things to help where needed. If church isn't your thing can also volunteer at library, school, community center, etc.
When all else failed...I thought of my kids. I dug down and found ways to be there for them, to get myself out of the funk because they didn't need to see that. They still needed to be kids, and while I couldn't pretend things were not difficult, I always end up feeling like I have to do what I can to lead them through it, to show them a positive way through it.
