Updated/still thinking about next steps

[kyrie]

Thanks Zues - you've been a really busy guy.
I guess I'm not 100% sure what I mean either. I don't want a divorce. Separation, in-house, I suppose is what I meant. I feel like I've tried as best as I can to do what you listed.
When I have, *sometimes* he's made some small effort which also includes a push for me to change and do more (which I need to do) but those things involve me being more submissive, doing even more than I already do (I do nearly all the housework, work full time & am the nearly-sole provider, pay the bills, etc.). All of which is NEVER EVER good enough. It's always "Do more, do better".
If I emotionally detach then I'm assaulted with all kinds of verbal/emotional punches and he digs in even more - accusing me of not meeting his emotional needs. There's been no real change. I've been in this hell for nearly a year.