Back on these forums again 5

[Mona52]

Life forced the call, and I am not making up an emergency to call him. I was at the doctor with my S12 (he is fine) yesterday, and my D15 was completely stuck and needed a ride and my mother ordered a washer and dryer to be delivered and they were 4 hours early and my D17 needed help with them at home.

I cant be in three places at once! (oh wait, yes I can)

I called H. No answer. I left S at his appointment, and ran to the washer guys (yummy), then grabbed D15 and back to S to pick him up and then dropped D15 off where she needed to go.

H never called back all day...

Then S pulled up his father's email account on his PC. I do not know how S got in, but he needed help with a password so I went to help him and saw what he was looking at. All I saw in my jerkface's email account was "your order has been processed" over and over again. OMG you should see how much money he is spending on OW. A couple of orders a day for almost the entire month of December. I dont see how when he is broke. Anyway, now I know her name and address.

I am no saint, of COURSE i texted my H after I saw that! BUT I did not say any angry words.

Me: Good news love. I will sign any waiver you want. I dont want to drag it, I was using it for my protection. But I no longer need it. Then you can go with (OW) and I can do what I need to do.

(I liked staying married because no one else can ask me to marry them if I am married, so that was what I meant by protection)

H: Ty I appreciate that. Did you have a great birthday?

Me: Amazing

I said a few more mundane things to him, Entourage is funny, do you have plans for New Yeats and things like that, but he never answered so I just went to bed.

During the night he texted that he was sorry for not talking but 3rd shift kills him. But he never answered one of my mundane questions. So this morning I asked him if he was not talking to me because I said her name. I said he does not have to pretend she does not exists anymore.

I am perfectly fine. I was angry because he got the kids nothing and her a $500 ring. But that is not in my control. I only sent those text messages so that he cant hide. I just wanted him to know that I know. Yes, that is the OPPOSITE of a good DBer. But I would like to get him out of the habit of lying to me.

Let's see if I can force him to be honest if he can just relax. Maybe that was a bad choice of words. I cant force him to do a thing. What I mean is I believe he feels guilt and shame when he lies. If I KNOW the truth he does not have to lie. He feels less guilt and shame and he can safely speak to me.

Or not. That whole mess was such a tiny part of my night last night. I have suspicions that Chris might have a girlfriend. In my defense, I met him at a singles dance. Everyone there was supposed to be single. But one of my other friends told me that he put his GF in the car before he said good bye to me last week so she would not see. And then he left with her.

A few other things he said and did were suspicious. But then again, he was speaking to this girl at the dance, but he spent hours dancing with me, and he also sat with me for a while.

Anyway, it does not matter one bit. I will not play the part of homewrecker in even the smallest way. He called me last night and told me there was some truth to it, but not all true. Him and her had broken up 3 times so he is single. I told him I cant get mixed up in it, sorry. I told him we started out with no strings attached and we should end everything now. He said he understood and he will not contact me again.

The only part that sucked was I just purchased 2 outfits with his tastes in mind... grrrr. I was trying to forget my inhibitions about my body shape and see what my partner wanted and try to lose my embarrassment and give them what they wanted. So I bought these 2 outfits based on the um... body part he found most appealing.

I actually had a list of things I wanted to learn or relearn, now I have no willing teacher. Be the woman only a fool would leave...

Back to square one I guess I am starting to like square one though, it is full of the most possibilities.