WW is onboard with trying to save the M

[JGuy]

JGuy,

Don't be the one to shoot yourself in the foot. I tried something very similar to what you did, and my wife got cold and distant. Do you think forcing her to produce that info right now will put you closer to reconciling?

Just enjoy the dinner. No R talk. Pretend you're on a date with someone new. Your letter put expectations galore on your dinner tonight.

Just wanted you to think before you made a possible mistake. My wife and I had a 'date night' that completely blew up because of my expectations. Live and learn in my case.

I get what you're saying. In fact, it is exactly what one of the several voices in my head is saying!

I am finding it very difficult to walk the fine line between being impatient with too many expectations and pushing her further away, versus abandoning myself by minimizing my own needs, which is what I have done WAY too much for the entire R.

I really did intend for it to be an invitation, not a demand. If she chooses not to take the invitation, then I will be unhappy, and I will say so. I just can't minimize and abandon myself anymore. Behind this is the fact that I still have not decided whether or not I'm really willing to continue on my end, trying to save the M. To keep me going, I really do need to see SOME reasonable steps taken on her part, even if they are small. It is disappointing just how small the steps might have to be at this stage, so maybe the amount of patience required is something I haven't fully accepted yet.